Stephenie Meyer Sucks Part 1

Ah, yes, Stephenie Meyer, author of the Twilight series. My opinion of her, from the way that she has presented herself to the public in interviews and such, is that she is a whiny, self absorbed woman with the mind of a 13 year old. She can't deal with criticism because it hurts her delicate little feelings, and believes that she is an amazing writer and that her story and characters are somehow superior to those seen in the works of people such as Jane Austen and William Shakespeare. Here's one statement that shows that she is both infantile and unable to handle criticism:

"I will state, for the record, that my queries truly sucked, and I don't blame anyone who sent me a rejection (I did get seven or eight of those. I still have them all, too). The only rejection that really hurt was from a small agent who actually read the first chapter before she dropped the axe on me. The meanest rejection I got came after Little, Brown had picked me up for a three-book deal, so it didn't bother me at all. I'll admit that I considered sending back a copy of that rejection stapled to the write-up my deal got in Publisher's Weekly, but I took the higher road."

You're a saint, Meyer. I love the way that she says "meanest rejection." Did they say that the book was riddled with purple prose and Mary Sues and was a superficial piece of crap that promoted and glorified stalking and abusive relationships? Because that's not being mean; that's a fact. She sounds so childish there! "Oh, those big meanies, rejecting my book and criticising it as publishers have every right to do!" If you write a book and send it to a publisher, you are putting it out there to be judged. Getting negative feedback is to help you improve, not make you sit and whine about how mean they are. In all honesty, Meyer, look at your books and how they are written. That is not good writing and that is a fact. I'm sure that their "mean rejection" was just them giving an honest and truthful opinion.

Let's examine Meyer's narcissism and hypocrisy.

"I don't think my books qualify to be Oprah books. I think you have to take on bigger issues than Vampire/Werewolf love to make her interested. I don't have any incest, adultery, spousal abuse, mental disease, molestation, anorexia, suicide, cutting, etc. Which is why I won't ever get the Printz award either."

Yes, Meyer, that's why you won't get any of those awards. Because they're about vampires and werewolves. It's like she's trying to tell herself that she's completely worthy of these awards but won't get them because it's "fantasy." Somehow, she thinks she's deserving of these things. Also, Meyer, are you saying that none of those things are in your books? Incest? Well, not directly, but those step-siblings are married, and Meyer did say that the girls who get imprinted upon see the guy as a family member. Adultery? Bella cheated on Edward with Jacob in Eclipse, and Sam left Leah for her cousin. Spousal Abuse? Bella and Edward's relationship. Need I say more? If I do, too bad, I'm writing about that later. Mental Disease? Quite frankly, I am convinced that almost every character in this series possesses mental diseases. Molestation? Hmmm... Jacob forcing himself on Bella? Those poor children that are imprinted upon? Anorexia? Not really, because Bella is basically described as being not fat but not anorexic. Suicide? Uh, gee, New Moon, anyone? Bella doing crazy suicidal stunts to hear Edward's voice. That could also come under mental disease. Cutting? Not really, but Bella does get hurt pulling all of those suicidal stunts. I guess what I'm trying to say is: You will not win those awards, not because you don't have all of those themes, believe us, they're in there, but because you suck.

If that's not proof enough for you that Meyer is a self absorbed narcissist so up herself that she believes awards would be handed to her if only she wrote about the above issues, you should take a look at what she thinks of other much more talented authors.

Tw Staff: Reading Twilight it came to me the story of Westley and Buttercup. Is Bella and Edward's love True Love like theirs?

Stephenie: Actually Bella and Edward's love story is better than them. When I was in college, I wrote a lot of papers from a feminine perspective (it's an easy way to write)

Ah, yes, the easy way out!

on the Princess Bride. Buttercup is an idiot

HOLY SHIT. No, you didn't. Also, this is coming from the person who has Bella as their narrator and protagonist.

and it doesn't bother anyone, all that matters is that she's beautiful,

Buttercup hated being beautiful. I don't think you read the book, Meyer, because the fact that Buttercup hates being beautiful is made very clear. She deliberately tries to make herself uglier and wants people to see her for her mind. She says this. A lot.

at the end she became a little more smart, but the female characters are very weak in that story. Westley is brave and smart and fights, Buttercup is just beautiful , it's her only thing, her brain means nothing, her personality means nothing to him, they have the kind of love where they can't live without each other. It's not a great example to me,

Actually, Westley was the only one who loved Buttercup for her personality and not her beauty. That's one of the reasons that she loved him. Weak female characters with big, strapping men to rescue them WHERE HAVE I READ THAT BEFORE. It sure as hell wasn't in The Princess Bride.

I couldn't find one who was a really good comparison to me,

You're not narcissistic at all. *sarcasm*

I mean, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr.Darcy is pretty good, except you should think that if either one of them dies the other one will carry on bravely,

Well, what do you want them to do Meyer? Go all New Moon on everyone's asses? Mope around for months on end, ignoring the people who love them and pulling crazy, suicidal and incredibly selfish stunts. This is how it works in real life, even if it is true love. You do carry on bravely because that's what they would have wanted and what else are you supposed to do?

and Romeo and Juliet were kind of idiots, they didn't know each other very well.

NO. WAI. That's the whole point. Shakespeare was being all satirical. Do you know that word, Meyer? SA-TI-RI-CAL. Yes, it's a big word, isn't it?

And Anne Of Green Gables and Gilbert Blythe, but they are much more like Jacob and Bella, they're friends,they get on the nerves of each other a lot. I didn't find out yet a Bella and Edward love story that really satisfied me that way.

She just fails at literature. She completely misunderstood the point of The Princess Bride and Romeo & Juliet. She misunderstood it so badly that I don't even think that she really read it. I think she sort of skimmed it then made up bits as she went along. It's like she thinks she's above these people. Goldman, Austen and Shakespeare were amazingly talented writers with wonderful characters. Austen, who lived in the time when wimmens were in the kitchen, had stronger female role models than Meyer. Meyer criticises things that are only problems in her books. And how egotistical must you be to think that your characters and "love" story are better than those of these amazing people. At least Shakespeare intended Romeo & Juliet to be a satire on teenage lust. Meyer makes it out to be srs bsns.

Now, let's see how Meyer reacts to being asked a question that she doesn't like:

"The worst I can remember happened at my appearance in Toronto. A girl (who must have sat in line all day to get the seat she had) asked during the Q&A how I could write such an antifeminist main character and if I wasn't ashamed of myself for letting young girls read my misogynist works. I don't get that. I mean, I've gotten that question from reporters and seen it online various places, and I think I can defend myself ably. What I don't get is why you would come out to a signing for an author you hated, let alone stand out in the cold all day to get in. People are odd."

Well, did you answer her question? It's a perfectly good question. She went through all of that trouble because she wanted to know why, and she wanted to hear it from you. How else was she supposed to get an answer to her question? Honestly, I think a lot of us haters would love to meet Meyer and ask her why she has written the things that she has, and she's an awfully hard person to meet. It's not like we're going to get an answer from an email because of Seth deleting all of the criticism to help increase both of their already inflated egos. How dare you call the girl weird and imply that she is an idiot when all she wanted was a real explanation from you.

Meyer appears quite horrible at her book signings. Apparently all she says are things like "Thankyou" as she just assumes that people are praising her and can't be bothered listening to them. When she does listen, she gives an answer of one or two words. Compare this to Rowling who listens closely and responds appropriately with at least two coherent sentences. Rowling pwns this woman in so many ways.

Speaking of Rowling pwning Meyer...

What has Meyer done with her money? She has made tonnes of money. Rowling has given to many charities for the poor, children, cancer, and much more. The profits for her three companion books went to charities. Meyer has given to... uh... well... Oh, there's this woman with cancer that she's raising money to help! She has a project called "Save the Book Babe."

"One of my dear friends and mentors, Faith Hochhalter - a truly gifted book buyer who put together some of my most successful events - was recently diagnosed with breast cancer."

I'm not saying that the "book babe" Faith doesn't deserve this. I'm saying that it's nice to know that to get Meyer to lend you a hand with all her money and influence, you just have to be a close, personal friend whose helped her first. It's nice what you're doing for your friend, Meyer, but there are other people who need help just as much as she does, even more. I know that if I had as much money as you, I would have given to at least one charity, and if I were as famous, I would have promoted every damn charity that exists.

Another thing that I dislike about Meyer is that she really does appear to be in love with her characters to the point where it is incredibly creepy. It's okay, as an author, to think of your characters as your children. You really shouldn't though, because they are supposed to be tools used to create your story. But, after all, you created them and they've been with you while you write all about them and their lives. But Meyer's just plain creepy about her characters. Here's what Robert Pattinson (Edward in the Twilight movies) has to say:

"...when I read [Twilight], it seemed like I was convinced Stephenie was convinced she was Bella and it was like it was a book that wasn't supposed to be published. It was like reading her sexual fantasy, especially when she said it was based on a dream and it was like, 'Oh I've had this dream about this really sexy guy,' and she just writes this book about it. Some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced - I was like, 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation.'"

This is just one of the reasons why I love you, Rob. Not only does he realise that Meyer just made her wet dream into a book and that Bella is a Mary Sue, but he also sees how weird she is when it comes to her characters. What? You aren't convinced that Meyer's in love with the male characters that she dreamed up?

"I think one of the most frustrating things about my confident, self-assured husband is that he is not in the least bit threatened by my devotion to Edward and Jacob, though I have told him many times that if either one of them showed up at the door, I would leave without looking back. Pancho just grins and says, "You do that, Steph."

Nope, from the above Meyer quote, it's safe to say she isn't in love with them at all. It seems like Pancho (heh, nice nickname) is either indulging Meyer by treating her like she's a child whose saying that they'd run away to join the circus if the clowns came a-knocking, or he's just really hoping that they'll come and take this crazy woman away from him, preferably killing her. Sorry, Pancho, they're "vegetarian." Anyway, I believe it's the former. It sounds like he treats her the way Edward treats Bella - like the whiny little children that they act like. And who abandons their loving husband (he might not be, it would explain her wet dreams) and children for those two jerks?  

Let's take a look at one last Meyer incident where she proves herself to be a fail. For Halloween 2008, author Lauren Myracle decided to challenge some fellow Young Adult writers to do something that scares them by Halloween.

Let it be known, on this 27th day of October, 2008, that I challenge the following 13 authors to a Halloween Scare-A-Thon:

M.T. Anderson
Holly Black
Libba Bray
Meg Cabot
Cassandra Clare
Melissa De La Cruz
John Green
Shannon Hale
Maureen Johnson
Stephenie Meyer
Kirsten Miller
Sarah Mlynowski
Scott Westerfeld

Stephenie didn't participate. Why?

Lauren "received a very nice note from one of her peeps saying she's taking a well-deserved break from media and won't be able to participate in the dare."

Taking a well deserved break from the media? It was just a group of YA writers partaking in some Halloween fun. They would face a fear of theirs and post a video of it on their blog. Where is the media involved in this? It was just pointless fun! It gives me the impression that she thinks she's too good to do something like this, or that she's too much of a wimp. Both, actually, as evidence suggests that she is. Also the note was from "one of her peeps." She couldn't even be bothered to send the letter herself.

Thus concludes the first part of my explanation as to why Stephenie Meyer sucks. You don't really need a second part as I'm sure that you all hate her enough by now, but I'mma write it anyway. The second part will discuss her and Seth's attitude in relation to people, including fans, who have criticism for Breaking Dawn and her poor reaction to Midnight Sun being leaked.